I looked at her with a lens of caution, wondering if she was actually harming others attempting to open up and heal using their writing medium-people a lot more vulnerable than me. This retreat, this unwillingness to engage in a meaningful dialogue about this changed everything for me about this person. She quickly apologized, then exited the conversation as fast as she’d bulleted in to it. I felt I needed to educate her., especially her of all people. Yet people walking around with highly sensitive life events get assaulted like this with ignorant questions regularly. I guess he would advise me to not take that personally– that her ignorance was about her and not me-ok I get that. Now is the point I wonder what Ruiz would say.

It was personal, and I responded like any person would when a dagger pierces the heart of your greatest wound. Her question was less an inquiry than a judgment and I felt it. She, nearly a stranger, tiptoed in to my world, then went for my jugular challenging the most sensitive area of my writing life. This is a normal human response when someone invades our safe boundaries, which is exactly what this question did for me. I was utterly shocked that I was on the receiving end of this question. It was not only the insensitivity and timing of this question that stunned me, but also the questioner herself: a person who leads workshops using the writing path for healing. This person wrote me out of the clear blue for the first time, asking general questions about my writing, then delivered a line that just about choked me “do you see a time when you will be able to let go of this and move toward stuff that is not about murder (I say this with love)”. I am currently in the middle of writing a memoir about my sister’s homicide, so I explore this topic at times on my blog, or on social media. I was recently in a semi – heated sharing with an acquaintance who had stumbled all over herself, offending me deeply. I can’t imagine, however, that he instructs us to never be open to feedback or honest sharing from others who are offering it up for us to grow. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering…” Ruiz teaches.

What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. Yet, like many sacred texts, over time, pure intentions tend to get misinterpreted and exploited in all kinds of directions.

My discomfort doesn’t stem from Ruiz’s intent of this 3rd Agreement, which I believe is pure, and I get it. Yet, lately, I’m having trouble with one of them. I think they truly encompass a roadmap of sound advice. Like many of you reading, I’ve used them as a kind of template for living for over a decade. I love Don Miguel Ruiz’s The Four Agreements, I really do. my disagreement with one of the Four Agreements Join 2,367 other subscribers recent posts

The mystery of love by don miguel ruiz